His Darkest Secret
by Ms.Marauder89
Summary: James Potter's sister is murdered during the Summer holidays, and James is left in a vulnerable state. A state Lord Voldemort isn't afraid to take advantage of.


1 – The Greatest Sorrow

James silently watched his family from his window. There they were, happy and unknowing. But then again who would ever know what the future would bring? His mother – Dorea – was reading the magazine 'Witch Weekly's' and his father – Charlus – was enjoying a cool gillywater in the sun. Jeannie – his sister – eight years old and a ball of energy was running around trying to catch a golden snitch. James usually liked to show off by letting the snitch fly away, only to catch it a few moments later. Now Jeannie had been inspired by this, and could enjoy many hours just chasing the tiny golden ball. James was sure that some day she would become seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

He silently sighed. There was his family. Seemingly perfect and untroubled. Well renowned in the wizarding world, and able to afford the best. Charlus Potter was employed by the Ministry as an auror, currently rising to become candidate for Head of the Auror Department, whenever the current Head chose to retire. Dorea Potter worked at the wizard bank Gringotts, and everyday she would stop by her good friend Violet's shop in Diagon Alley for a spot of tea just before lunch. Jeannie spent the day at home playing, and the Potter family had a nanny hired to take care of her while they were at work. James went to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry almost all year, and was only home during holidays. Yes, the Potters all had their daily routines to tend to, but all in all they were a happy family, and no-one would ever suspect them of anything.

James was a 17-year old boy with jet-black messy hair. The hair had somewhat become a trademark of his, since it never ever lay flat. He wore glasses and played Quidditch like no-one else at Hogwarts. Many would envy him for his status at school. Girls were chasing him around, he was Gryffindor's Quidditch hero and Captain, a good student and had just been made Head Boy to his own big surprise. Furthermore he was part of the most admired and feared group at Hogwarts: The Marauders.

Yep. The Marauders. Troublemakers and friends alike. Four boys all in their seventh and final year who had been friends from the very beginning at the Hogwarts Express. James Potter's best friend and almost-brother was Sirius Black. A handsome boy with longish black hair which opposite James' fell gracefully towards his shoulders. Sirius had been staying at James' house for quite a while now, ever since his mother kicked him out of the house, for associating with muggle-borns, half-bloods and what she would call 'blood-traitors.' What a charming woman she was, that Walburga Black. Yet another Marauder was Remus Lupin. A slightly shabby-looking young boy with light brown hair and blue eyes. He was a brilliant student at Hogwarts, and James had been very surprised that he had been made Head Boy and not Remus. Remus was the reasonable one of the Marauders, but that didn't mean he wasn't up for a prank or two. The last one of the Marauders was Peter Pettigrew. He was the least handsome one of them. Peter was a slightly chubby boy, not very tall and with mousy-brown hair. He also weren't as bright as the others, and was much easier unnerved. Though, for some reason unknown to all others he was a member of the coolest gang at school, and they fully accepted him as a good friend.

James smiled while thinking of his friends and all the happy moments they had spent together. He looked out of the window again, and saw Sirius poke Jeannie in the back and say something to her that he couldn't hear, before picking her up and twirling her around in the air. She giggled audibly and Charlus and Dorea smiled at them. Jeannie caught James' eye in the window and waved enthusiastically at him. He smiled at her and waved back, before going downstairs and into the garden himself.

"Hey Prongs, help me get this little energy ball to stay still for a moment before she gets a heart-attack" Sirius said while holding on to a struggling Jeannie, who had eyes only for the golden snitch still zooming around.  
"You still haven't caught that thing?" James asked her in mock disbelief – she had been chasing it for hours.  
Jeannie shook her head violently and frowned at James. Sirius chuckled.

James observed the snitch for a few minutes. Once snitches were loose for a time without anyone trying to catch them, they became quite predictable. James quickly noticed how it constantly moved around in the same shape, like a planet in orbit around the Sun. After a few minutes of watching it he stepped forward and easily caught it in his right hand. He held it out for Jeannie to take.

"No fair" she pouted and took the snitch in her hands.  
"Tell me again why you're not our Seeker James?" Sirius asked referring to the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.  
'I like the excitement in being a chaser' James said.  
'I love playing as beater. Especially when we're playing against Slytherin' Sirius grinned mischievously.

James grinned at his best mate. "_This is life"_ he thought.  
No worries. Just him and his family on a bright Summer day. The man who called himself Lord Voldemort – whose real name was Tom Riddle – was becoming increasingly dangerous. Ever since their first year at Hogwarts he had been gaining power all around Britain, and his powers were now reaching their peak. Voldemort had been recruiting heavily over the last few years, and overall new witches and wizards were following his lead, calling themselves the Death Eaters. But James knew that the good side was gathering followers as well, so there was still hope before the inevitable war would take it's place.

Way too soon the holiday would come to an end, and school would soon be starting again. James loved Hogwarts, but the summers were always nice, because he had the chance to spend time with the Marauders outside of school, and just relax without any schoolwork that needed to be done.

_School will become even tougher this year. I have to set up try-outs for the new Quidditch Team, we've got NEWTs this year and on top of it all Dumbledore made me Head Boy. What was that all about anyway? I'm known to be one of the biggest troublemakers at Hogwarts along with Moony, Wormtail and Padfoot. Well, mostly Padfoot. I mean, we must have the record for most detentions during a single school year by now.  
Hmm, I wonder who the Head Girl will be? Please let it be someone normal. I won't make it through this year if it's someone like Bellatrix Black! Oh god I almost forgot! How could I forget?  
Going back to Hogwarts means going back to Evans as well. She totally hates me. Thinks I'm acting like an idiot all the time. She doesn't even realize how much I care about her. I wonder how many times Lily will slap me this year? Perfect. This is going to be one hell of a year._

James woke up from his momentary daze and saw that the sun was already setting. Dorea Potter called for dinner a few minutes later, and they all enjoyed her nice and steaming onion soup with bread.

But even though he liked spending time with his family at home, there was one catch. Every family had their own secrets and the Potter family was no excuse. James would never tell their secret to anyone, and he wasn't even sure if anyone else apart from his father knew. Jeannie didn't, that's for sure, and his mother didn't seem to know either. James had literally been dragged into the secret, and he would have to live with it forever. He could think of someone who would know, but he shuddered at the mere thought, and hoped nothing would ever bring _them_ to their house. For right now they were just as happy as they looked on the family photo.

At the end of the day when Jeannie had gone to bed, James and Sirius sat in the living room playing wizard chess, while the Potters were watching TV. Ever since the man calling himself Lord Voldemort had come to what seemed the height of his power, the Potters were very interested in hearing how this affected the muggles. Charlus Potter had then gotten himself a TV, and after some bickering and trouble it now worked.  
There were constantly many peculiar things happening in the muggle communities. Bridge's were collapsing and bright lights would suddenly light up every window in one house, and the next day the family would be found dead. The muggles didn't understand but every wizard did. James understood that the muggle Prime Minister actually knew. He had heard his father mentioning this to his mother - mentioning that the Minister for Magic had warned the muggle Prime Minister about Voldemort. The guys the muggles called "The Police" didn't understand a thing. Crime scene investigators who usually solved the most utterly confusing crimes could not explain how an entire family could get murdered, while the door was locked from the inside. The pathologists couldn't explain how they died, and convincing a whole country, that the third family in a row had died of natural causes all on the same night, was not only impossible, but it would also be utterly incomprehensible.  
Everyone in the wizarding world were at a threat of suffering from the same fate, but James didn't worry too much about it. Life was too short to be scared and worried all the time, and he had a strong feeling that nothing like this would ever happen to his family. It was something like this you always expected to happen to someone else but you, and for now James felt that he and his family were quite safe.

"So Prongs are you gonna win Evans over this year?" Sirius asked his best friend.  
"Yep Padfoot. This is the year. Six years of chasing – I know it'll work out this year" James flashed a grin.  
"I just don't see why you've wasted so much time on her. You could have anyone-"  
"And I've already tried that. None of the other girls are like Lily. It has to be her."  
"Yeah alright" Sirius said, somewhat doubtful that James would succeed in winning her over this year. For Sirius it had kind of become some sort of ritual – James chasing Lily around. He couldn't imagine life at Hogwarts with that part missing, so he fully appreciated that James would still try to get to her. But understanding why James would spend so much time on it? No, he couldn't understand. "_Girls are girls – what's the difference?"_ he thought.

True, Sirius had never tried being in love. He'd always had a somewhat rough life. He was brought up in the Black family's home – Grimmauld Place in London. A dodgy and sinister place. The whole house seemed to be cursed and evil, and you got in a bad mood just by stepping over the threshold. There he had spent many years of his life, listening to his parents and their pure-blood mania, with his brother and cousins hanging onto each word. He despised them all, and the happiest day of his life so far, had been the day he left home to stay with James. Unlike at his own house, he'd always been welcome at the Potters', and James felt like his real brother – not Regulus. The only thing uniting Sirius and Regulus was blood.

"You gonna invite Moony and Wormtail over?" Sirius asked, taking James out of his trance.  
"Yeah I thought about owling them tomorrow"  
"Great. I can't wait to plan new pranks and stuff like that"  
James grinned at his friend and got that distinctive mischievous look in his eyes. Pranks. The best thing ever invented, and what kept the Marauders alive at Hogwarts – well Sirius and James at least. Remus wasn't the type to 'die' because of five essays and a lot of spells and wand movements to practice, and Peter pretty much went with the flow. If James and Sirius were bored, he would be bored, and vice versa.  
"I'll have to plan a Hogsmeade trip quickly this year, so we can restock" James said.  
"Oh yeah! Well at least there are some good things about you being Head Boy. But it's still weird."  
The boys laughed and then Sirius left to go to his own room and get some sleep.

- - - -

For some unknown reason James kept tossing and turning in his sleep. He kept seeing imagines of horrible events, pictures he'd seen in _The Daily Prophet_ and things he'd heard on the news. Suddenly he woke up, feeling inside that something was wrong. Somehow he knew it had nothing to do with his dreams or imagination. Something was definitely wrong.

James walked the halls of the Mansion, not finding anything out of it's normal state, and he'd just started to relax and decided to go back to his own room to sleep when he noticed something.  
Jeannie's door was open. Just a bit but still – it was open. That wasn't normal. Jeannie never wanted her door to be open – something about boogey-men hiding in the hall and sneaking in on her if the door was open.  
James carefully and silently approached the door, trying to catch any sound coming from inside the room. When he was just about to enter he heard someone from inside the room – a man's voice – bellow:

"Avada Kedavra!"

"NOO!" James screamed and ran into the room. He saw his own and safe world crashing down upon him. He felt as though his heart was ripped from his body while being pierced by several knifes. There in front of him stood a man dressed in black robes wearing a mask – a Death Eater – and beside him on the floor lay Jeannie. Eyes wide open and glassy, and her mouth open as in a silent gasp.

"Say hello to you dear father, won't you Potter?" the Death Eater said in a voice James thought he somehow recognized. Then, with a twirl of his robes, the Death Eater apparated out of the room.

James sank down on his knees in front of his sister's lifeless form. Unable to truly comprehend what had just happened. Tears welled up in his eyes, just as he heard steps thundering down the hall, and a few seconds later Charlus, Dorea and Sirius stormed into the room, all with their wands raised.

"It's too late" James croaked in a strange, distant voice he could not recognize as his own.  
Dorea Potter instantly dropped her wand and fell to the floor in front of her now dead daughter, sobbing uncontrollably. Sirius started crying as well and gave James a brotherly hug, while James looked over Sirius shoulder to see his father's face. His eyes locked with his father's, and James knew what he saw. He saw both shock, grief, sadness and guilt. Shock, grief and sadness because of the death of a beloved daughter, and guilt because-. No. No-one was supposed to know. The secret had to be kept.

"Is the deed done?" a cold voice asked from behind the back of an armchair.  
"Yes, my Lord." the Death Eater in the room answered with a hint of pride in his voice.  
"Do not sound so pleased with yourself. This was only phase one. Much more important things will have to be done now. You must understand, that this mission mustn't fail" the voice retorted.  
"I understand, my Lord. Your wish is my command."  
"I have no further use of you at the moment, but soon you and your friends will be a most valuable source to me. The young Potter boy will be devastated by now, and the right time to strike is coming."  
"You can trust us. We will provide you with all information needed for you to perform this task. We are very grateful that you are letting us help you, my Lord" the man said.  
"Help? I do not need help!" the voice taunted.  
"Of course not, my Lord! I only meant that we are grateful that you are using us for such an honorable task as this one. It is an ingenious idea I must say, my Lord." the voice said now sounding a bit intimidated.  
"Yes it is. Soon that boy will live in his own worst nightmare." Lord Voldemort said as he turned around and smiled at his follower. His once blue eyes entirely red now, and seemingly unstoppable.

The mood at the Potter's the following day was no good. You'd find more cheer in a graveyard. James was sitting alone in his room, just staring at the wall. Sirius had also been unusually quiet all day, and Dorea kept succumbing into new tears. Sirius comforted her each time, since James was in his room, and Charlus had – like James – been in his study all day. After hours of just sitting there, James heard a knock on the door. He merely grunted and his father entered. He locked the door behind him and cast a silencing charm.

"You do realize why I can't do anything to get revenge right?" Charlus asked.  
James just nodded and kept staring into the wall.  
"James I feel just as bad as you do, will you please talk to me?"  
"And what do you want me to say?! That it's all okay, and it doesn't affect me to be living on a lie? Well it's not okay, and I feel completely lost! The Death Eater told me to say 'hello' to you by the way. I don't know how much longer I can stand this, dad." James said sounding deeply let down.  
"You cannot tell anyone. The secret will have to remain a secret, or else we'll both be goners! Do you understand me James? No matter what you can NOT tell anyone!" his father said aggressively.  
"And who's fault is that?! Maybe if you'd actually put what is right before what is easy nineteen years ago, we'd never have been in this situation! You know it won't stop dad. He wants revenge."  
"Don't you think I feel guilty for what has happened? I feel completely horrible! But for now we can't do anything. I'll try to find a way out of this. You must promise to keep quiet."  
"Of course I'll keep quiet. I don't exactly have much of a choice." James said resigned.


End file.
